The Reasons Why Your Breakdowns Are Not Breakthroughs

"If you do not transform your suffering you will transmit it." -Unknown

Watch the video here or scroll down to read the blog post:


How do we transform our suffering? We first must heal (Blog post about healing here) and go through the stages of grief. Listed below


Why? Because Step 1 in a breakthrough is ACCEPTANCE.

Toxic positivity is fighting for your limitations and transmits suffering. But if you view positivity as toxic you are not reading this or following my information. That's perfectly fine with me - as positivity saved my life! 

And it transmuted my suffering into a breakthrough after breakthrough.

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear."

Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Quit letting fear hold you back. Jump to the other side of the wall and find peace and freedom! Transmute that fear!

"The best thing you can do is master the chaos in you. You are not thrown into the fire, YOU ARE THE FIRE."

Chaos proceeds the breakthrough. But...

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Let Go and Get Way More!

Letting go of the things we are attached to can be so difficult. And I know I have been there. But in today's video I discuss the gifts of letting go. Scroll down to read the blog post or watch the video below:



 I start with defining attachment. What is it to you?

I then discuss how holding on to things can and does drain your energy.

Pendulums are thought structures that other people think. Pendulums only want your energy. I discuss the dangers of pendulums and what to do to let go. Hint - it is all about not giving them your energy.

 Here are 4 pitfalls you hit when you become too attached:

  • Pitfall #1 You fall prey to tunnel vision.
  • Pitfall #2 You cannot let go and hold onto those thoughts too tightly. Reactivity, resentment, and defensiveness come into play here!
  • Pitfall #3 You cannot see the forest for the trees.
  • Pitfall #4 Attachment causes stress.

Solutions when you let go:

  • #1 You make room for more. Your mind opens up.
  • #2 You become more...
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Is Positivity Toxic?

In today's video I discuss this very thing.

Watch it here.

The word toxic positivity is an oxymoron. Or as we like to call it at Stop the Mind Screw a "toxi-moron!"

As a Positive Mindset Coach, it appears that I may teach rainbows and butterflies, but I beg to differ.

I have news for those who think that. I get mad! I get really angry!

BUT I do not get reactive nor is that what I teach.

I go within, feel the emotion, talk to my Inner Being and find a way to be proactive instead of reactive.

Proactivity can look like drawing a boundary with someone who has treated you ugly.

Or by being kind to yourself and taking a break from the situation.

So, positivity is not toxic. It can be forced, but that is stupidity and not positive at all!!

It is my hope that I change the mind of kids nowadays who call positivity toxic. Heck, I think there is a therapist who has a book titled Toxic Positivity.

Is she correct? Yes and no! The positivity she is talking about is FORCED. That is not...

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How to Tell if Your Thinking is Accurate


It's that time again, Benjamin Franklin Virtue Building Day.

Accurate thinking is the virtue of the week.

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We have all heard this quote by Einstein. But do we really apply it?

Look at my toxic positivity gal! She is right in her thinking that there are some things in this world that need to be fixed!! Yes absolutely.

But her way of going about things is not accurate thinking.

What do I mean by this? Well, she FORCES people to follow her opinions and beliefs, thinking it will change the world. And if you DO NOT AGREE WITH HER, she will bully the crap out of you. 

That includes huge businesses, fitness influencers who are really doing things wrong and fighting against white, skinny, etc (fill in the blank) privilege.

Toxic positivity gal calls everyone out thinking they will change. I have news for her, they will not. And...

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Encounter Disappointment with Power

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. -Dale Carnegie

So I checked in on my “toxic positivity” fitness gal last week on Thanksgiving, to see how those toxic positivity thought habits were working for her. Let’s just say not well. Here's a link to her profile in case you were wondering. 

She missed the holiday with her family because her tests did not come back in time for her to go see them. Mind you they are both healthy but they wanted to be safe.

The first test result came back as not admissible or something like that. Imagine her disappointment for a moment.

While I feel sorry for her, I see myself in her as well. Everyone is me pushed out ya know.

I see her as an advocate for victims. And when she does this, she loses her power.

You see, years ago, 2007 to be exact I learned I was not going to get my boys for Christmas because my ex had planned a cruise (on my...

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Why I Hate the Term Toxic Positivity

I hate the term #toxicpositivity. And I don’t use the word 'hate' unless it is absolutely necessary.

Why? Because positivity saved my life. There is nothing toxic about it. That my friends is an illusion!!!

As a survivor of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I could have easily blamed positivity for all my problems. And told people, “You don’t know what I went through!!” or “Please, it was really bad.”

No, I learned from many years of therapy, awareness, and contemplation that does absolutely no good. 

All that does is keep you in victim mode. And after being in victim mode for so long you come out and victimize everyone and everything - including positivity. #dumb

Instead, enter victor mode. Become aware that these victim/victimizer thoughts are all illusions. 

Serve the principles of truth, integrity, courage and above all LOVE!! 

Those principles my friend ARE POSITIVITY.

Those principles saved my life!! And could save yours....

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Is Positivity Toxic? WTF!

I first heard this term about a year ago. It just feels wrong to me. But I truly wanted to understand this concept so I did some research. I now understand why and when someone would view thinking positively as toxic. But positivity itself is NOT toxic. What is toxic? FORCED positivity.

Who came up with this term anyhow? First of all, positivity is not even a real word. And second of all, if it were the two terms do not go together. It is a true oxymoron.

So what is toxic positivity? Well, I find it to be when something really tragic happens and someone tells you, "Everything happens for a reason." or "Just think positive it will be over soon." That my friends are forcing positive vibes on someone who needs to grieve. That is FORCED positivity. 

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Study the diagram of consciousness by David Hawkins. It...

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