Excellence Isn’t Perfection

A Workplace Case Study on Pressure, Entitlement, and Leadership

Let me start with something that might make you uncomfortable.

If you’ve ever booed a professional athlete.

If you’ve ever felt angry when a team didn’t win.

If you’ve ever thought, they get paid so much money, they should be perfect.

This conversation is for you.

Because this is not about sports.

It’s about pressure.

And how humans behave when pressure shows up.

Especially in workplaces.

And families.

And leadership teams.

Watch the video here.

Listen to the podcast here.

A Moment That Stopped Me Cold

Not long ago, I watched a clip from a baseball game.

A professional athlete stood at the plate.

Doing his job.

Under bright lights.

With thousands of people watching.

Behind him, fans held signs.

One of them read: “Debase Yourself.”

I stopped.

What does debase yourself even mean?

It means:

Lower yourself.

Humiliate yourself.

Make yourself smaller so I feel better.

That’s when I knew.

This wasn’t about baseball.

This was a perfect workplace case study.

Pressure Doesn’t Create Behavior. It Reveals It.

I study patterns everywhere I go.

At airports.

In restaurants.

In meetings.

In families.

And especially at sporting events.

Why?

Because human behavior doesn’t change just because the setting does.

Pressure reveals what’s already there.

Sports make this easy to see because the pressure is public, emotional, and immediate.

But the same patterns show up inside organizations every day.

Let’s Talk About Excellence (For Real)

Here’s the mistake most people make.

They think excellence means perfection.

It doesn’t.

In fact, excellence and perfection are opposites.

Perfection says:

Don’t ever mess up.

Excellence says:

Stay present when you do.

That difference matters more than most leaders realize.

Baseball Is a Brutally Honest Teacher

The best hitters in the world fail most of the time.

Let that sink in.

Failing is built into the system.

A .300 batting average is elite.

That means failing 70% of the time.

So excellence in baseball isn’t about never striking out.

It’s about how you show up after you do.

And that’s where leadership lessons live.

The First Principle: Non-Attachment

The first principle of emotional regulation is non-attachment.

Non-attachment does not mean you don’t care.

It means you don’t carry what isn’t yours.

That athlete at the plate?

He does not carry the crowd’s emotions for them.

He doesn’t argue with the boos.

He doesn’t explain himself.

He doesn’t try to win approval.

He stays with his job.

That’s non-attachment.

And here’s the hard truth.

When people feel entitled to outcomes, they lose non-attachment.

They outsource their emotions to others.

They say:

You didn’t give me what I wanted, so you should suffer.

That’s not accountability.

That’s emotional immaturity.

The Second Principle: Radical Responsibility

The second principle is radical responsibility.

Radical responsibility says:

I take responsibility for what’s mine.
And I do not take responsibility for what’s not.

That athlete is responsible for:

His preparation
His mindset
His swing
His effort

He is not responsible for:

The crowd’s anger
Their disappointment
Their need for someone to blame

That distinction is everything.

Inside workplaces, when leaders don’t understand this, things turn toxic fast.

When Systems Can’t Tolerate Discomfort

I’ve lived this.

I worked inside a workplace that looked great from the outside.

Professional.

Polished.

Successful.

But under pressure, the system couldn’t tolerate honesty.

It couldn’t tolerate discomfort.

So instead of taking responsibility, it projected.

And here’s the part people don’t talk about enough.

I didn’t burn out because I wasn’t good enough.

I burned out because I was trying to be perfect inside a system built on entitlement.

Leadership felt entitled to:

Comfort
Control
Never being challenged

When that entitlement was threatened, it got projected outward.

When Perfection Becomes a Trap

I tried to smooth things over.

I tried to be what they wanted.

I tried to carry what wasn’t mine.

I was suppressing what I couldn’t yet clearly name.

When I finally did name it?

I wasn’t met with responsibility.

I was met with humiliation.

That’s not feedback.

That’s not leadership.

That’s what happens when a system cannot tolerate truth.

And here’s the clarity that came later.

I wasn’t failing at my job.

I was carrying what leadership refused to look at.

That is not excellence.

That’s a system eating its own people.

This Pattern Isn’t Limited to Work

This doesn’t just happen in workplaces.

It happens in families.

In relationships.

In organizations of all kinds.

Anywhere people feel entitled to others managing their emotions.

You’ll see:

Shame
Blame
Condemnation
Silence
Scapegoating
Gaslighting

These are not leadership tools.

They are signs of emotional dysregulation.

The Third Principle: Courage

The third principle is courage.

Courage is not confidence.

Courage is showing up when you know you’ll be judged.

It’s easier to hide.

It’s easier to lash out.

It’s easier to blame someone else.

But excellence requires courage.

The courage to stay regulated when others are not.

That’s leadership.

A Simple Check for Leaders

Here’s a simple question to ask yourself.

Am I demanding perfection?

Or am I practicing excellence?

Perfection requires humiliation.

Excellence requires presence.

Perfection collapses under pressure.

Excellence steadies itself.

Why This Matters So Much Right Now

Many leaders are burning out.

Not because they’re incapable.

But because they’re operating inside systems that confuse perfection with excellence.

They’re carrying emotions that aren’t theirs.

They’re trying to manage other people’s discomfort.

That is unsustainable.

And unnecessary.

What Real Excellence Looks Like

Real excellence looks like:

Non-attachment
Radical responsibility
Courage under pressure

It looks like staying present when things get uncomfortable.

It looks like telling the truth without humiliation.

It looks like leaders regulating themselves first.

Watch the video

Listen to the episode on our podcast

A Note About My Work

This is why I do what I do now.

I work privately with leaders and teams during high-pressure moments.

Moments where emotional regulation becomes the difference between clarity and chaos.

This is not motivational work.

It’s real-world pattern recognition.

And it applies everywhere performance matters.

What’s Coming Next

There is a companion article coming soon that goes deeper into how I consult teams on emotional regulation inside the workplace.

It will walk through:

How these patterns show up systemically
How leaders unintentionally reinforce them
What actually shifts culture without blame

That article will be linked here once it’s live.

Final Thought

Next time you watch a game.

Or walk into a meeting.

Or feel pressure rising.

Ask yourself:

Am I demanding perfection?

Or am I practicing excellence?

Because excellence doesn’t require humiliation.

It requires presence.

And that’s something every leader can learn.

Transcript

Let me start with something that might make some people uncomfortable. If you've ever booed a professional athlete, if you've ever felt angry at a team because they didn't win, if you've ever thought to yourself, they get paid so much money, they should be perfect. This is for you. Because what I wanna talk about today has nothing to do with sports and everything to do with the way we handle pressure, especially in workplaces and families. Not long ago I saw a clip from a baseball game. A professional athlete is standing at the plate doing his job, and behind him, fans are holding signs that say things like, shame on you, debase yourself. What? I had to stop. What does Debase yourself even mean? Guess what it means. It means lower yourself, humiliate yourself, make yourself smaller so I feel better. And that's when I knew this is not about baseball. This is a perfect workplace case study. Welcome back if you're new here. My name is Kathie Owen. I'm a private consultant speaker, and I work with leaders in organizations during high pressure moments where emotional regulation becomes the difference between clarity and chaos. On this channel, I share real world workplace case studies, not theory, not motivation, but lived examples of how performance, leadership and emotional regulation actually play out under pressure. What you're about to hear today. It is one of those case studies. It's a core theme I speak on when I'm on stage because it shows up everywhere in sports, in leadership, and inside organizations that care about performance, but struggle with pressure. Today we're talking about the difference between excellence and perfection and how entitlement and emotional dysregulation quietly destroy performance even in environments that claim to value excellence. I study patterns everywhere I go at airports, in restaurants, in meetings, in families, and especially at sporting events because human behavior doesn't just change because the setting does. The same patterns show up everywhere, and sports are one of the clearest places to see them because pressure is visible, public and emotional. Let's talk about Jose Altuve. He walks up to the plate and gets booed loudly, constantly. People yell, people judge, People bring signs. Yeah, the signs I was talking about. And then he still has to hit the ball coming at him at close to 100 miles per hour. Most people can't even see that ball. Yet they feel entitled to criticize the person hitting it. That alone should tell us something. This is the heart of my keynote. Expect excellence. Excellence isn't what you think it is. It's not perfection. In fact, it's the opposite. Perfection demands, outcomes. Excellence demands presence. Perfection says, don't ever mess up. Excellence says, stay steady when you do. Baseball is a beautiful teacher here. The best hitters in the world fail most of the time. Yeah, that's not weakness. That's reality. So excellence isn't about never striking out. It's about how you show up when you do. The first principle of emotional regulation is non-attachment. Jose Altuve does not carry the crowd's emotions for them. He doesn't argue with the boos. He doesn't explain himself. He doesn't try to win approval. He stays with his job. That's non-attachment. And here's the hard truth. When people feel entitled to outcomes, they lose non-attachment. They outsource their emotions to others. That's what those fans are doing. They're saying, you didn't give me what I wanted, so you should suffer. That's not accountability. That's emotional immaturity. The second principle is radical responsibility. Radical responsibility says I take responsibility for what's mine, and I don't take responsibility for what's not. Jose Altuve is responsible for his preparation, his swing, his mindset, what he can control. He is not responsible for the crowd's anger, disappointment, their need for someone to blame. That distinction is everything. In workplaces when leaders don't understand this, things turn toxic fast. And then there's courage. Courage isn't confidence. Courage is showing up when you know you'll be judged. It's easier to hide, it's easier to lash out, it's easier to blame someone else. But excellence requires courage. The courage to stay emotionally regulated when others are not. That's leadership. Let's say this simply entitlement sounds like I deserve a certain outcome. Projection sounds like I don't like how I feel, so I'll put it on you. That's what those signs are. And that's what happens in toxic workplaces and dysfunctional families all the time. Someone feels uncomfortable, someone doesn't wanna look in the mirror, so they point outward. I've lived this a few years ago. I worked inside a workplace that looked great from the outside, professional, polished, successful. But under pressure, the system couldn't tolerate honesty or discomfort. So instead of taking responsibility, it projected. I know what it feels like to be subtly humiliated, to be blamed for naming what others didn't wanna see, to be pushed to make it smoother instead of making it true. And this is where I wanna be very honest, because this part matters. When I was inside that workplace, I didn't stay regulated the way Jose Altuve does at the plate. I tried to stay perfect. I tried to be what they wanted me to be. I tried to smooth things over. I tried to carry what wasn't mine. I was actually suppressing and repressing What I couldn't clearly see was happening inside the organization. And when I named it, I wasn't met with responsibility. I was met with humiliation. At one point, my direct leader told me that if it were up to her. I wouldn't even be there. That's not feedback. That's definitely not leadership. That's what happens when a system cannot tolerate truth. And here's the part, people don't talk about enough. I wasn't burned out because I wasn't good enough. I was burned out because I was trying to be perfect inside a system built on entitlement. The leadership felt entitled to comfort, to control, to never being challenged. And when that entitlement was threatened, it got projected outward. I was not failing at my job. I was carrying what leadership refused to look at. That is not excellence. That's a system eating its own people. And this is exactly why I teach what I teach now. This doesn't just happen at work. It happens in families. It happens in relationships. It happens anywhere. People feel entitled to others managing their emotions. There's shame. There's blame. There's condemnation, there's silence, there's scapegoating. There's gaslighting. Those are not leadership tools. They are signs of dysregulation. The solution is not perfection. The solution is non-attachment. You are not entitled to outcomes and radical responsibility. Manage your emotions with no shame, no condemnations and no excuses, and then there's courage. Take action despite the fear and show up anyway. That's how excellence actually works in sports, in leadership, in families, in life. So next time you watch a game or walk into a meeting, act your cut. Ask yourself, am I demanding perfection or am I practicing excellence? Because excellence doesn't require humiliation, it requires presence, and that's something every leader can learn.

Excellence vs Perfection Under Pressure

Excellence Isn’t Perfection

A Workplace Case Study on Pressure, Entitlement, and Leadership

A Moment That Stopped Me Cold

Pressure Doesn’t Create Behavior. It Reveals It.