The Trap of Expectations

Expectations are a funny thing. Not funny “ha ha.” Funny odd.

We expect to win games. We expect dream vacations to feel magical. We expect that big business deal to close. Yet, more often than not, expectations do more harm than good.

Why? Because expectations create limits.

If the bar is too high, we end up disappointed. If the bar is too low, we settle. Either way, we get stuck in a trap.

There’s an old Chinese proverb that says:

“Happy is the man who expects nothing, for he is never disappointed.”

I like to reframe that for myself:

“Happy is the Astros fan who expects nothing, for she is never disappointed.”

Because let’s face it—sports, business, and life? None of them are games you can always win.

(Continue reading below….)

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A Lesson From the Astros

Let me tell you a story.

I love watching the Houston Astros. But my partner Eddie? He’s quick to throw in the towel. If the Astros start losing, he’ll say, “Turn it off. The seventh inning is when it all goes downhill.”

His expectation? That the team will fail.

My desire? To watch, enjoy, and stay open to possibility.

This got me thinking: how often do we do this in our own lives? How often do we cut ourselves off from miracles, just because we’re bracing for disappointment?

Sports psychology shows us that performance isn’t about controlling outcomes. It’s about controlling mindset. You can’t always predict what happens in the seventh inning—or in business or relationships. But you can decide how you show up.

The Book That Changed My Speech

Last year, during playoff season, I stumbled on a story about A.J. Brown, wide receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles. During a game, the cameras caught him sitting on the sidelines reading a book. Yep—during the game.

The announcers mocked him, but I was intrigued. I had to know: what was this book?

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It turned out to be Inner Excellence, a sports psychology guide written by a former professional athlete turned mindset coach. The book is all about staying grounded when pressure mounts—when expectations threaten to derail you.

The timing was perfect. The Eagles went on to win the Super Bowl, and suddenly this book took off. Everyone wanted to know the secret.

From it, I pulled the title of my core Toastmasters speech:

“Expect Nothing, I Can Handle Anything.”

It became my personal mantra.

When Miracles Show Up

But life has a sense of humor.

While preparing my speech, I was practicing my usual meditations. I turned on one of Brad Yates’ famous “tapping” routines—emotional freedom technique, or EFT. If you don’t know tapping, it’s a simple method of lightly tapping pressure points while speaking affirmations to release stress.

The video that popped up? “Expect Miracles.”

I froze.

Here I was building a speech around “expect nothing,” and suddenly I was being guided to “expect miracles.”

Which one was right?

The truth is—they both are.

When we cling to rigid expectations, we close doors. When we release them, we open space. And in that space? Miracles arrive.

That day, I shared the “expect miracles” tapping meditation with one of my executive clients. Almost immediately, an unexpected breakthrough happened in their business. At the same time, something miraculous unfolded in my own life too.

Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Altuve and the Boo Birds

Let’s swing back to baseball for another example.

Jose Altuve is one of my favorite athletes. Not because of his stats—though they’re impressive—but because of his mindset.

Whenever the Astros play the Yankees, Altuve gets booed relentlessly. The fans don’t just boo—they scream, curse, and sometimes get so rowdy that broadcasters mute the TV.

What does Altuve do?

He steps up to the plate and hits home runs. Sometimes two in a series.

He doesn’t let the noise dictate his performance. He doesn’t crumble under the weight of hostile expectations. He just plays his game.

And that, my friends, is sports psychology at its best.

It’s also life psychology. Because you and I? We get booed too. Maybe not in a stadium, but in the office, online, or even inside our own heads. And when we learn to keep swinging anyway, we create miracles.

Expectations in Real Life

So how does this all apply to you?

Think about it:

You expect your partner to act a certain way.
You expect your career to follow a straight line.
You expect your vacation to feel Instagram-perfect.

And when those expectations don’t pan out? Frustration, disappointment, and stress.

But when you shift into openness—when you live from “expect miracles”—you create room for joy, surprise, and resilience.

For example:

Instead of expecting your meeting to close a deal, expect to make a meaningful connection.
Instead of expecting your partner to always know what you need, expect to learn something new about them.
Instead of expecting your speech to be flawless, expect growth and feedback.

It’s a subtle shift, but it changes everything.

Lessons From Toastmasters

When I delivered my “Expect Nothing, I Can Handle Anything” speech at Toastmasters, I wore my Astros jersey just for fun.

I got love notes from the audience afterward. One said, “I’m a Yankees fan. I still loved your message.”

That’s the beauty of letting go of rigid expectations. I didn’t show up to convince people the Astros were the best. I showed up to share a story about mindset.

And it resonated—even across rivalries.

The Takeaway

So where does that leave us?

Here’s what I know for sure:

Expectations limit. Too high or too low, they trap us.
Openness liberates. When we loosen our grip, miracles have room to show up.
Sports psychology applies to life. Athletes like Jose Altuve and A.J. Brown prove it.
You have a choice. Expect nothing and handle anything. Or expect miracles and watch them unfold.

Either way, life is less about the seventh inning and more about how you show up at the plate.

So next time you’re tempted to brace for the worst, remember: miracles are always possible. And often, they arrive when you least expect them.

About Kathie

Kathie Owen is a heart-centered corporate wellness consultant, mindset coach, and speaker based in Houston. With over 25 years of experience in fitness, wellness, and leadership, she helps executives and teams reduce stress, boost performance, and build happier, healthier workplaces. Through her Better You Challenges, keynote speeches, and signature coaching programs, Kathie combines sports psychology, mindfulness, and real-world experience to transform pressure into possibility.

Transcript

Expectations are a funny thing and not funny. Ha ha. But funny, odd, you know, we expect to win games. We expect to go on dream vacations, and we expect to get the big business deals, but expectations can actually limit you. And that's what I'm gonna talk about today. You know, there's this Chinese proverb that says, happy is the man who expects nothing for, he is never disappointed. Yeah. I coined that term to be happy as the Astros fan who expects nothing for, she's never disappointed. You are listening to Kathie's Coaching podcast. I'm your host, Kathie Owen, and today we are talking about my core speech on expectations and expectations can actually limit you. And I want to really talk about this because I had an aha moment this week. Yeah. So when I'm watching the Astros with my partner Eddie, he's always like, turn it off. As soon as the Astros start losing, and actually in the seventh inning, he will always say, this is the when it's gonna turn to the worst. And he's so expectant of the Astros to do something bad. But I want to change that. I want to look at it like. Baseball, football, and even life. Those aren't games of always win. Yeah, it happens in real life. So I wanna share with you about a book that I found during the playoff season and expect nothing. I can handle anything is the title of my core speech. Where did that come from? Kathie? I'm so glad you asked. So last year during playoff season for professional football, AJ Brown was caught reading a book on the sidelines during the football game, during the game. And the announcers actually made fun of him and I was like, oh my gosh, I gotta get this book. Well, I got the book and it turns out it's all about sports psychology and how to lead a team and how to keep yourself healthy with expectations, because that's going to happen in life and I love that this book really took off after AJ Brown got caught reading it because, let me give you some context. AJ Brown plays for the Philadelphia Eagles. And the Philadelphia Eagles won the. Um, I was gonna say World Series. They won the Super Bowl in 2025. And this book really took off at this time. And the author of this book was actually a professional athlete himself, and he coaches other professional athletes. Imagine his career really took off after that happened because the book is just full of great ideas to help you keep your mindset right when things get stressful, because guess what? It's going to get stressful. You're going to be losing in the third inning. You're going to have difficulties. How do we deal with them? Well, maybe we expect nothing. Maybe we can handle anything. Hey, guess what? That's the title of my core speech, and I got that title from this book. Inner Excellence. I interrupt this episode to share with you something kind of important. In every episode I do, I share a blog post that also includes bonus resources to go with this, and you can find the link to that in the show notes and description below. I hope to see you there. Back to the episode. You know, expectations can cause you to trap yourself, you know, too high, and you're disappointed and too low. You're settling. I want you to look at that as it applies to your life, to your relationships, to your career, to your Toastmasters journey.'cause that's where my speech came into play. I wanna tell you about a story of an executive client that I was coaching that was under immense pressure. I had my own worries and concerns for this person. I was so immensely caught up in this and I started to. Just to practice my meditations and I went into a tapping meditation that I'm going to leave in the show notes and description below. And if you don't know what tapping is, it's. It. It's emotional freedom release technique, and it's just tapping of the emotional release to get it through your system. And I love Brad Yates. He's got hundreds and hundreds of videos on tapping that just help with everything. Well, he came up with this one where it was called Expect Miracles, so I want you to think about that for a second. If my title to my core speech is Expect Nothing, and I'm coming across something that expect miracles, I was like stopped dead in my tracks. It arrived at the perfect time, but it was an unexpected and it was perfect. But this. Happened to change the title of my speech. I was like, oh my goodness, am I going to change the title to expect miracles? I can handle anything? I don't know. I'm kind of still expecting nothing because the Expect Miracles really caused a miracle to happen, and I want you to realize that when I did this, expect Miracles tapping, I actually passed that on to my client and right at the moment that I did the Expect Miracles meditation, something miraculously happened in my life as well, and I wasn't expecting it. So that's where it was just like, okay, expect nothing. I can handle anything. Expect miracles, and you just never know what's gonna happen. And we let go of the rigid expectations and we open up to possibility. So maybe my speech title isn't really, expect nothing. I can handle anything. Maybe it is expect miracles, but I wanna also go back to sports psychology and something that happens with the Astros that I've also talked about before in a blog post. And I've also talked about it in a video as well. But that is. One of my favorite athletes, which is Jose Altuve and Jose Altuve, I don't know. argue Jose Altuve credibility because this is something. I talk about often with my coaching clients or anybody for that matter, because Jose Altuve attitude and the sports psychology he uses is something we could apply in our own lives. So what happens with hose Jose Altuve now when he comes up to bat at an opposing stadium like New York Yankees, they boo him incessantly. They just boo and boo and boo him. And it's funny because he hits a home run. A lot of the times, and in fact the last time we were in New York, he hit two home runs in the in the series, and they were booing him. And actually their fans were so bad that they had to mute the TV because they were saying bad words. And I'm not here to say who's great and who's not great because I love all athletes. I love all of sports psychology. I love how they perform when they win, when they lose, how they walk up to the plate, how they come up and don't give up even when somebody's booing them. That my friend is a miracle. And so in my speech in Toastmasters, I did talk about Jose Altuve. And when you do Toastmasters, if you know this or not, you get love notes from the audience, about your speech and. Inevitably, somebody said, I love New York. I'm a New York Yankees fan. I am not dogging the Yankees. I love them too. I love all of sports, all of sports psychology, and it kind of cracks me up that even. When I walked into the meeting, I had Astros jersey on just to add impact to my speech. Not to say, Hey, the Astros are the best because I don't even expect them to be the best. Just be what you are and go with it. And so I wanna leave you with this because when you expect miracles and you pump the prime to expect miracles, you'll see them. Everywhere. They will start showing up in the best places. So instead of expect nothing, I do invite you to expect miracles, but at the same time, don't expect for that business deal to go through or that vacation to be the best thing that ever happened or anything else. Just expect a miracle. And with that, that's my episode for today. I trust that you found it helpful, and if you know someone who could benefit from this, please share it with them. And until next time, I will see you next time. Peace out and Namaste.

How Expectations Steal Your Joy