Small Signals. Big Business Losses.

The Lunch Table Never Lies

A Workplace Case Study in Executive Pattern Recognition

Let me ground this first.

This is a workplace case study.

Details are fictionalized.

The patterns are real.

What you’ll read here is not about food.

Not about manners.

Not about being polite.

It’s about how people reveal who they are before money is at risk.

If you want the full story, you can:

• Watch the video

• Listen to the podcast episode

This article is the executive translation.

The “why it matters.”

The “what to do.”

And the cost of missing it.

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Why I Observe Executives Outside the Boardroom

Sometimes my work with founders and CEOs doesn’t start in a conference room.

It starts at lunch.

Not to socialize.

Not to network.

Not to bond.

To observe.

Because people are most themselves when they think nothing important is happening.

No contracts.

No decks.

No decisions.

Just a moment that feels small.

Those moments are not small.

They’re predictive.

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What I’m Actually Watching For

I’m not watching what someone orders.

I’m watching how they move through uncertainty.

How they respond when:

• Something is unclear

• Something isn’t perfect

• Something requires communication

These moments tell me far more than a résumé ever will.

Short sentence.

Big signal.

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Signal One: Dismissal Without Curiosity

Early on, there’s a comment.

Dismissive.

Absolute.

Certain.

No curiosity.

No neutrality.

This matters.

Because curiosity is how leaders gather data.

Dismissal is how they protect identity.

One keeps options open.

The other shuts doors quietly.

In business, this shows up later as rigid thinking, defensiveness, and resistance to feedback.

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Signal Two: Expectation Without Ownership

Next comes confusion.

Not dramatic.

Subtle.

Preferences are layered.

Instructions are implied.

Nothing is fully confirmed.

But the expectation is strong.

“It should be handled.”

That phrase doesn’t need to be spoken to be present.

This is an important distinction.

Everyone has preferences.

Not everyone externalizes responsibility for them.

Leaders who do will expect others to “figure it out” later.

That gets expensive.

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Signal Three: Blame Without Verification

When something doesn’t land correctly, blame appears quickly.

Not curiosity.

Not verification.

Correction.

This is where the pattern sharpens.

Because how someone treats people who cannot push back is how they treat people when they believe they have leverage.

This is not stress behavior.

This is baseline behavior.

And baseline behavior always shows up in contracts.

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The Most Important Signal: No Resolution Energy

Here’s what matters most.

There is commentary.

There is critique.

There is dissatisfaction.

But there is no resolution energy.

No desire to clarify.

No desire to complete the loop.

No desire to cleanly close the interaction.

That absence is everything.

Because business is not about perfection.

It’s about completion.

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Why This Is Not “Reading Too Much Into It”

This is where many smart leaders hesitate.

They tell themselves:

• “It’s just lunch.”

• “Everyone has quirks.”

• “This feels too small to matter.”

But patterns don’t start loud.

They start consistent.

The same behaviors that show up casually will show up under pressure.

Just with more money attached.

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The Business Translation

Now shift contexts.

Different setting.

Higher stakes.

A large transaction.

Partial usage.

An unclear return process.

What matters here is not the numbers.

It’s the process.

• No confirmation

• No receipt

• No acknowledgement

• No shared agreement

Later?

An invoice appears.

For the full amount.

No discussion.

No clarification.

Just expectation.

This isn’t surprising.

It’s consistent.

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This Is About Predictability, Not Intent

I want to be very clear here.

This is not about bad people.

Or malicious intent.

Or character judgment.

It’s about predictability.

People who:

• Avoid direct clarification

• Externalize responsibility

• Rely on others to “figure it out”

Will repeat those behaviors across contexts.

Contracts don’t change that.

They magnify it.

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The Two Real Options Leaders Have

When this pattern shows up, there are only two viable paths.

Option One: Enforced Clarity

This means:

• Everything in writing

• Explicit confirmations

• No assumptions

• Clear timelines

• Clear accountability

Not because you’re controlling.

Because you’re realistic.

This path requires discipline and energy.

Some leaders are willing to do it.

Many aren’t.

Option Two: Discontinue Early

Professionally.

Calmly.

Before escalation.

While the cost of changing course is still low.

This is often the most mature decision.

Even when it’s uncomfortable.

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What Does Not Work

Hope.

Hope that the pattern will soften.

Hope that clarity will emerge later.

Hope that money will somehow organize behavior.

Hope is not a strategy.

It’s a delay.

And delays are expensive.

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The Real Cost of Missing This Early

Most people think the cost is financial.

It’s not.

The real costs are:

• Time

• Energy

• Legal stress

• Team distraction

• Opportunity loss

But the deepest cost is subtler.

You start doubting your own perception.

You override your instincts.

You second-guess your judgment.

That’s how leaders lose clarity.

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Why Executives Hire Me for This

This kind of pattern recognition is not taught.

Not in business school.

Not in leadership programs.

Not in most consulting models.

Because it requires:

• Emotional neutrality

• Observational skill

• Pattern literacy

• The courage to act early

My work is not about fixing problems later.

It’s about seeing them sooner.

While the price is still manageable.

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A Final Thought for Founders and CEOs

If something feels off in a business relationship, ask yourself this:

Where is this already showing up in small, low-stakes ways?

Because the lunch table never lies.

And the earlier you listen, the more power you keep.

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Read More Articles from Kathie

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Transcript

This is a workplace case study, fictionalized details, real executive patterns. What you're about to hear is not about food or manners or being nice, it's about how people show you who they are before money is at risk. You are listening to Kathie's Coaching podcast and workplace case studies. Imagine you've hired me to analyze a business relationship. We go to lunch together, not to socialize, but to observe. This is a real technique I use with founders and CEOs because people are most themselves when they think nothing important is happening. The lunch we order at the counter, one person immediately dismisses a menu item. I would never order that. It is always bad here. No curiosity, no neutrality, just critique that matters. Then there's friction about substitutions, fries instead of onion rings. Jalapenos on the side, make them fresh Jalapenos on the side. None of this is communicated clearly at the counter, but the expectation is that it will be handled anyway. The wait staff moment, the food arrives. The waitress blamed for an order she never received. There is no kindness, no assumption of good intent, just correction. As a consultant, this is where I'm already taking notes because how someone treats people who can't push back is how they treat people when they think they have leverage. The pattern emerges. The complaints continue about the food, about the service, about other people who complain. There is no resolution energy, just commentary This. Is important. Because this is not stress behavior. This is baseline behavior. The business transaction. Now, let's talk about why this lunch matters. Imagine this is an$80,000 business transaction. Only$5,000 of the product has been used. The remaining$75,000 is returned. The product is taken without confirmation. No receipt, no acknowledgement, no agreement. Weeks later, an invoice arrives for the full amount. No discussion. No clarification. No professional follow up. Just an expectation that confusion will resolve in their favor. The translation for executives. Here's what I would say to my client. This behavior is consistent. The same person who complains instead of clarifies, blames instead of confirms, avoids direct communication, and most importantly, externalizes responsibility will do the same in contracts, billing and conflict. This is not about intention. It's about predictability. The decision. At this point, there are only two options. Implement extremely clear written and enforced boundaries. Number two, discontinue the relationship. What you do not do is continue informal interactions and hope it improves. Hope is not a strategy. Why this matters. Most people lose money not because of bad deals, but because they ignored early signals that felt too small to name. This is what I do. I spot patterns early. While the cost of changing course is still low. All right. That's my episode for today. I trust that you found it useful. If you are navigating a business relationship and something feels off, there's usually a pattern already showing you why. This has been a workplace case study with Kathie. Stay tuned for another episode coming soon to a YouTube channel near you.