The Person You Talk to The Most

stop the mind screw Mar 23, 2021

We talk to ourselves more than anyone else. But do you know the quality of those thoughts? Do you monitor this?

This is where our power lies.

In today's video, I discuss this very thing.


Chapters: 00:00 Intro 01:04 First thought 01:44 Reactivity/Proactivity 03:20 Insomnia Pitfalls: 05:27 1.Shape our beleifs 06:31 2. Outlook is affected 08:13 3. Personalize it Solutions: 10:13 1. Decisions are easier 10:35 2. Re-write those limiting beliefs 12:23 3. Who you surround yourself with even in self-talk 14:46 4. Exercise 15:50 5. Triggers 17:34 6. Have a sense of humor Humor 13:34

Tim Ferris Podcast with Matthew

Green Lights

Toxic positivity

Joseph Rodrigues

Trigger video

House was stolen from me:

Stop the mind screw! Free resource guide on mental diets:

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Get in the Zone Like This!

Today's video is all about getting in the zone or flow as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls it in his book titled Flow.

Main takeaways:

A person in flow has a high interest in life, they are persistent and they have low self-centeredness.

I discuss my personal experience with Flow, stay tuned to the very end where I explain something that happened on this very video! ‍

There are 4 undesired outcomes or pitfalls from not being in flow:

  1. Distractions both internal and external
  2. Resistance
  3. Wanting of instant gratification
  4. Monkey mind


  1. Suggestions on how to block distractions
  2. A mental diet which becomes a lifestyle 
  3. Tame the monkey mind with journaling and meditation
  4. Non-resistance

I also discuss toxic positivity and when this type of approach is not possible due to the stages of grief.

Hope to see you there! 


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Why Infatuation Fails!

 In today's video we discuss this graph in detail. This was taught to me by the wonderful, great, Shary Davis (my therapist).

Notice how infatuation goes up immediately. Our brains cannot process data properly while in this mode.

 But unconditional love, (Click Here for that video) takes its time. Shary said it takes approximately 18 months for true love to catch up to infatuation.

There are 3 common pitfalls:

  1. Limiting beliefs
  2. Red flags are missed
  3. Attention is focused only on the good in the other person

Solutions to the pitfalls:

  1. Re-write limiting beliefs with the Pruning Shears of Revision. (Link to FREE pdf) Build that muscle
  2. Go on a mental diet, make it a lifestyle
  3. Build confidence in yourself
  4. Stop drifting discussed in the book Outwitting the Devil (link to book on Amazon)
  5. Raise your level of consciousness

Bonus material:

Dating books for women I highly recommend

The Rules (link to the book on Amazon) - now this book has some pretty strict rules,...

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The Time I Survived the Texas Freeze

stop the mind screw Feb 24, 2021

In today's video, I discuss the Texas freeze of 2021. I survived it!!

Click Here to watch it now!

I went without power or cell service for 2 full days. My house got down to 42 degrees Farenheight. And it was not that bad! I think that has so much to do with my attitude and the skills I learned along the way as a survivor of Complex PTSD.

This article contains affiliate links. For more information head on over to my privacy policy.


I discuss the 4 things I learned:

  1.  Most go through the stages of grief when encountering a traumatic situation. When this happens we cannot look at anything as positive until we get to acceptance. This is why people look at positivity as toxic (I get it but I don't). The stages of grief are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
  2. When one goes through a traumatic event they usually experience Post Traumatic Stress, something I know about!
  3. We are just guests on this planet. We are not entitled to one single thing. Let go of...
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What Conditions Do You Put on Love?

Today's video is about love. Think about who you love and if you love them conditionally or unconditionally.

Here is a link to the video now.

It's interesting to consider the conditions we put on those we love. Or those we think we love.

Romantic love as well. 

We discuss the virtues in this video. Subscribe to your 13-week email with a different virtue every week. Click Here!

From the book Laws of Success by Napoleon Hill unconditional love is the following: enthusiasm, controlled attention, going the extra mile, a pleasing personality, applied faith, maintaining sound physical health, universal law, self-discipline, budgeting time and money, personal initiative, learning from defeat.

And conditional love is the following: poverty, imaginary illness, lazy, greed, envy, vanity, drifting without aim or purpose, revenge, jealousy, dishonesty, arrogance, sadism, cynicism.  (all narcissistic tendencies)

Solutions are:

  • Awareness
  • Boundaries
  • Unconditionally love yourself first
  • ...
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What is a Trigger in PTS

stop the mind screw Feb 11, 2021

Have you ever seen police lights in your rearview mirror and get a sudden wave of fear? Your heart rate starts pulsing and you begin to think of every little thing you just did to see if it is you who is getting pulled over?

That my friend is a trigger. And when you have PTSD it can take something as simple as spending time with a 3-year-old child when all of a sudden you have flashbacks to a time and place where you are in trauma.

Triggers are something every person has whether they have PTSD or not. As a survivor of Complex PTSD, I can tell you those triggers come out of nowhere even when you are healthy and far removed from the narc.

Today I am going to help you by identifying ways to deal with those triggers to minimize the effect.

Click here to watch the video now.

Triggers can be both internal and external.

Examples of internal triggers are:

  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Feeling abandoned
  • Feeling lonely
  • Feeling out of control
  • Frustration
  • Memories
  • Muscle tension
  • Racing heart rate


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5 Solutions to Dealing with Chaos!

stop the mind screw Feb 03, 2021

Have you ever had a crazy time, day, month, or even year? 

Well, in today's video I discuss this. Click Here to watch it now.


While on a coaching call with Matthew David Hurtado, author of the great book Ask Until it is Given, he said, "Chaos Proceeds the Breakthrough"

I have come to learn this is correct.

Learn the top mistakes: 

  • Panic makes it worse
  • Complaining only brings you more
  • Giving up during the chaos


  • Mind control
  • Mental diet
  • Subconscious reprogramming
  • Trust the process
  • Have faith

Remember when going through the stages of grief there is no way you will be able to comprehend the solutions. 

The 5 stages of grief are:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5.  Acceptance

Only in acceptance can one comprehend the solutions.

How does one get to acceptance? Through self-care, kindness to self, and time. Do not suppress these emotions, feel them, then move on.

Watch today's video now: Click Here

Hope to see you there!...

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How to Deal with Arguments

What if you had a secret tool that would help you with every argument you encounter. Well, in today's video, I teach this tool and it is very powerful and helpful.

Click Here to watch the video now!


Awareness is key! Study the picture below:

This takes place in any argument we may have. That circle eight at the bottom can become an endless battle and we must ask ourselves how do we get to Victor? And how do we get out of this vicious cycle? I answer that question in the video.

Arguments are usually triggered by one's abandonment issues. When these issues are triggered it causes one to go into victimizer and gaslighting takes place.

What is gaslighting? It is when someone plays victimizer and tries to trigger you into an argument. Signs of gaslighting are:

  1. Pretending not to understand
  2. Labeling your thoughts as crazy
  3. Questioning your memory
  4. Pretending to forget
  5. Denying promises
  6. Trivializing your feelings

It is best not to respond to gaslighting with more victimizing or you...

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How To Deal with Frustration Easily!

stop the mind screw Jan 21, 2021

Disharmony aka frustration is not a bad thing! It is actually a sign. It could even be a sign that you are on the right path!

We run from bad feelings, but this is not healthy. Change your perspective on "bad" feelings and watch your world transform in magic fashion.

In today's video, I discuss this very thing.

Harmony = Proactivity and

Disharmony = Reactivity.


When we are reactive we are working from FORCE. But this is a sign to us. It could even be a sign we are on the right path. 

It is important to understand deeply the feelings we feel as humans. Do not suppress them and run from them. Those so-called "bad" feelings can serve as a sign.

Tony Robbins said, "Turn frustration into fascination."

Watch your world transform in magic fashion. Identify how these reactions we are having are beneficial and actually helpful to us reaching our potential.

Often times we will hit overwhelm while in disharmony. The best way to deal with this is to remember how harmony...

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