Why I Hate the Term Toxic Positivity

I hate the term #toxicpositivity. And I don’t use the word 'hate' unless it is absolutely necessary.

Why? Because positivity saved my life. There is nothing toxic about it. That my friends is an illusion!!!

As a survivor of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I could have easily blamed positivity for all my problems. And told people, “You don’t know what I went through!!” or “Please, it was really bad.”

No, I learned from many years of therapy, awareness, and contemplation that does absolutely no good. 

All that does is keep you in victim mode. And after being in victim mode for so long you come out and victimize everyone and everything - including positivity. #dumb

Instead, enter victor mode. Become aware that these victim/victimizer thoughts are all illusions. 

Serve the principles of truth, integrity, courage and above all LOVE!! 

Those principles my friend ARE POSITIVITY.

Those principles saved my life!! And could save yours....

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Trust the Process

Uncategorized Oct 14, 2020

Do you resent things that happened in your past? I get it.

But when you reframe this issue and trust the process things change.

Because instead of resenting the things you start to see they were essential to get you to where you are today.

You will also see they are merely stepping stones to get you to your future.

That is, IF, you stop resenting and start trusting.

Trust the process. This is a thought habit.


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The Easy Way to Build Habits

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Sacrifice short term conveniences for long-term gains. Unknown

Most people, myself included, build habits backwards. They start with the goal (which is correct) then go all out trying to achieve the goal.

Take for example building abdominal muscles - they go all out doing crunches or abdominal exercises they found online. But give up all too soon, especially when they don't see results.

*Spoiler alert - you can do abdominal exercises all day long but if you do not do something about the fat on top of the muscle you will never see results.

Or take, for example, weight loss. They decide they want to quit eating junk food and throw it all out. But they start getting headaches and feel tired all day. This is a result of going through withdrawal from certain foods.

However, this is backwards. So let's re-frame it. Everything is mindset ya know!

Take it one day at a time, Take it slow and...

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Failure? Use it for Fuel!!

Failure is part of life. It is also a huge part of success. When you truly know this everything changes.
The gym at OCuSOFT flooded 3 times before we lifted the building off the ground. There were many failures along the way. MANY. Each time it flooded we learned something new. The final time it flooded we lifted the slab 3 feet off the ground. There were many failures involved in that process too.
We finally got back into the gym the first week of March 2020. Then COVID hit and the gym is closed indefinitely.
Yes, huge defeats along the way but there were also victories among those defeats.
I apply this process to so many things. Learn from your defeats. As Napoleon Hill says ( and one of my very favorite quotes)
"Every Adversity, Every Failure, Every Heartbreak, Carries With It The Seed Of An Equal Or Greater Benefit" - Napoleon Hill.
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My House was Stolen From Me!

A home is supposed to be your safe haven. A place you live, where memories are made, and where dreams are born.

But in 2018 my whole world crumbled right before my very eyes.

I should have listened to my intuition and NOT blood-sucking attorneys.

I mean even the title that was stripped from me was done so by an attorney, not to mention a Justice of the Peace in Fort Bend County, Texas.

A piece of paper! That is how my house was stolen from me.

More importantly, I should have known better about all of this because Kenny played with the deeds on our property in 2000 to keep a section in his name. You know he was and is always manipulating something under the table.

No wonder I have Complex PTSD.

But no, I lay blind to all that happened, due to my overwhelm and mind screw of stress in my life!!

Yes, my house was stolen from me. I know it sounds crazy but it was. I trusted a Judge and a woman who came across as a loving, kind Christian. Let's just say her company called JSUS was not so...

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Why Music Helps When it Comes to Exercise

I'll never forget taking aerobic instructor training back in 2000. I cannot dance for anything!

I got stuck at the front of the room with all these mirrors and they would say grapevine right and I'd go left.

Embarrassing I know but imagine if I had given up. I hung in there and today teaching fitness is my passion! 20+ years later.

But, did you know that music helps your exercise? It is actually the beats per minute on the song can and will affect the intensity.

I learned this during instructor training. And yes it helps tremendously. Want some motivation for your next workout? Create a playlist with fast beats.

Check out this playlist I made for my seniors on Spotify. https://tinyurl.com/y5c3yv4g

It includes my favorites from Water Aerobics and Silver Sneakers and brings back so many memories! Hope to see you there! 

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Do You Have a Great Ripple Effect in Life?

 Be brilliant and reach for the stars. This is the best way to serve your goals and help fellow humans. -Unknown

Do you know when you throw a rock into the water, it has this ripple effect? Like this?

That is what happens when you do any sort of action. Good or bad. You cause this ripple effect and it goes on and on. It also comes back to you, but we'll leave that for another blog post!

This quote was in my morning oracle cards the other day. To me, it is all about that ripple effect and reaching high for my goals.

How do I do this? Well, I stick to my habits #1. By creating what Jeff Olson, author of the Slight Edge calls happy habits in mind, body, and spirit you easily create an awesome ripple effect.

It has so much to do with your thought habits, are you thinking thoughts of joy, love, peace, kindness, ease, flow, etc.


It can also work the other way around. This means that you can have a negative ripple effect especially when you think of thoughts of resentment,...

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Laws of Non-Attachment

Allow others to be who they are. Allow yourself to be who you are. Don't force situations. Solutions will emerge. Uncertainty is reality. Embrace it.

Laws of non-attachment. They keep us safe. You do not see this often. Everyone is trying to force their opinions and situations. Force is everywhere. 

Embrace uncertainty. It is a part of life. Learn to let go. Go with the flow.

Allow others to be as they are. Do not force them to change. 

Allow situations to just be.

Solutions emerge as you let go. Infinite solutions. Oh, it helps to let go.

Make it a habit to let go of expectations, opinions, and situations. Let things be as they are. You will find a new level of awareness when you do this!

You do not know the real reason why things are the way they are. Embrace the uncomfortableness and let it be. You will find so much more when you do!


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Synchronicities Are Everywhere, Don't Miss Them!

“It is not often that a man can make opportunities for himself. But he can put himself in such shape that when or if the opportunities come he is ready.” Theodore Roosevelt

This picture depicts perfectly what it takes to seize an opportunity.

Do you pay attention to synchronicities when they arise? Sometimes people do not notice this when the time is right because they are so dang busy forcing things.

Sit back, rely on your power, it will come through at the right time and in the right place. 


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Unconditional Love and Conditional Love

Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you. -Unknown

Have you had to let go of people who stress you out?

It hurts at first, but realize this fact. It isn’t easy to let go of those you love, but sometimes it is for the best.

Unconditional love is the answer to this. When someone is not good for you it is based on conditional love. 

Unconditional love knows no "conditions" so, therefore, it is freeing!!

This is why I love my dogs so much. They teach me, unconditional love. I know the feeling. And when it turns to conditional love, it is very different.

When you hurt due to missing them (the narcissist) remember the abuse, the rudeness, the hateful behavior, and the disrespect that they so often did. It makes the blow easier. 

And remember the stress is now gone that you let them go. Wishing you the best! 


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